Almost a Year...

We've been married almost a year and it's been a whirlwind.
A really great whirlwind but a whirlwind just the same.
We've celebrated.
We've mourned.
We've moved.
we've argued.
We've laughed.
We've been silent.
We've really gone through a lot in our short 11 months of marriage and we are better people for it.

We went to a marriage forum last week at our church here in Portland.
We met another couple who in a year; met, got pregnant and married. They were explaining to us how different their lives looked than they had once pictured but how happy they were.
We listened to a man talk about how he communicates with his wife and how after 30 years of marriage they still don't quite have it right.

All of these interactions really encouraged us.
It seems like the general consensus on marriage is that it's wonderful.. and really hard and scary and beautiful and meaningful and sometimes you're totally lost.

Last night we had a wonderful Valentine's Day and rented The Kids Are Alright.

I really enjoyed it and there was a scene that really stuck with me.
Julianne Moore comes before her family and says some profane yet eloquent words:
(spoiler alert: this may give away some of the plot..)


"Your mom and I are in hell right now and the bottom line is marriage is hard. It’s really fuckin’ hard. It’s just two people slogging through the shit, year after year, getting older, changing — fucking marathon, okay? So sometimes, you know, you’re together so long you stop seeing the other person, you just see weird projections of your own junk. Instead of talking to each other, you go off the rails, and act grubby, and make stupid choices, which is what I did. And I feel sick about it because I love you guys, and your mom, and that’s the truth. And sometimes you hurt the ones you love the most, and I don’t know why. You know, if I read more Russian novels… Anyway… I just wanted to say how sorry I am for what I did. I hope you’ll forgive me eventually. Thank you."

I just found this very real.
Every married person knows marriage is tough but I hope that people also see how wonderful and important it is.
If you are reading this and are single or are engaged I hope this doesn't freak you out like it would've freaked me out a few years ago.
I've learned that the bumps and tough stuff you deal with in marriage are what give your marriage character and endurance.
I also have to say that I know I couldn't be married without my God and Savior guiding me every single minute of every day.

There are a million more things I could say about marriage.
But I'll just simply say that I like it and I think I'm a better person for it.


xoxox
erin&jerms